SO. MUCH. PAPERWORK.

I'm struggling to see the problem...

2 Peter 1:3

Heart Health PSA

My husband was healthy.
My husband did not use tobacco.
My husband ran and lifted weights.
My husband had a great yearly checkup.
My husband had a superior plus rating on his life insurance policy.
My husband instantly died from a widowmaker heart attack.

You don't have to be unhealthy or overweight to have plaque in your arteries. Steve had a 100% blockage in his Left Anterior Descending artery with no previous signs.

There is a test that could have potentially picked up on this. It's called a Cardiac Calcium Score. Friends, if you are having a checkup, maybe see if you can ask for this scan. I'm not sure if it has to be done by a cardiologist, but it's worth asking about.

If this information could prevent me losing someone else, then Jacobs would have wanted me to share it.

Sleeping Alone Is Hard. Really Hard.

Sleep. It’s something I’ve been struggling with. I have a little magic pill that helps me fall asleep, but staying asleep is my problem. I wake up multiple times during the night for hours at a time.

I just need a good night of sleep.

Would you pray that I sleep through the night tonight?

1 Peter 1:24

Forever. The Word of the Lord remains forever.
Forever is encompassed by eternity.
Forever means that the Word of the Lord was, even before man was.
The Word brings my soul comfort.
This means that God was preparing to comfort me EVEN BEFORE I WAS.
Even before man, God knew our situations and was preparing words to speak life into our souls.

”Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
His love endures forever.
to him who alone does great wonders,
His love endures forever.
who by his understanding made the heavens,
His love endures forever.
who spread out the earth upon the waters,
His love endures forever.
who made the great lights—
His love endures forever.
the sun to govern the day,
His love endures forever.
the moon and stars to govern the night;
His love endures forever.”
Psalm 136: 1-9

Ann Voskamp

This is so, so good guys.
What will you fill your empty with?
Anger and bitterness or love and legacy?
"Losses are only wasted if we don't let them give us what they long to give us:
More love, more grace, more gratitude, more wisdom, more Jesus" -Ann Voskamp

Losses leave a wake
that wakes you
to the meaningfulness of what was,
& why it deeply mattered,
&what message you want to live now.

It takes uncommon courage to believe:
Losses take but losses give.
Every loss gives you
space for something else.

You bravely have to ask -- what else?

Because:
No emptiness ever stays empty.
Empty places always fill.

And we choose what fills the empty places: anger, bitterness, distractions, hardness -- or hope & dreams & love & legacy & more life.

Losses are only wasted if we don't let them give us what they long to give us:
More love, more grace, more gratitude, more wisdom, more Jesus.

It takes uncommon courage to ask:
How might this emptiness be filled with more that's fulfilling?
.
.
from my #SACREDway journal
#TheBrokenWay #TheWayOfAbundance #1000Gifts

Romans 8:6

When you let the Holy Spirit control your heart and mind, you will walk in peace. An indescribable, supernatural peace. I am experiencing this now and I promise it is true. 

Victory!!!

This album has been on repeat since September 14. I have listened to it daily, multiple times a day.

This album encourages me, it soothes my soul, it blesses me.

If you are weary and need refreshed, or you just want some amazing worship music, the Bethel Victory album is a winner.

Lamentations 3:22

His mercies are new each morning.
Great is Your faithfulness.

Starting the Healing

Today was healing. Most people don’t know that Jacobs had his heart attack in our master bathroom. The kids and I have all had a hard time going into that room, but it’s not something that I can really avoid.

I decided that I would change it today. I just needed it to be different. I can’t avoid it, but it doesn’t have to remind me of that evening every time I walk in.

It’s a super calming peach, but has a pop of bold accent color for fun. I think he would have liked it.

(Yes, I haven’t fixed the broken drawer yet. Don’t judge. 🤣)

I'm Taking a Break

I have decided to hit "pause" from school for this year. I talked to the school last week; I will not lose my grant and I can pick up where I left off. I am going to go back next Fall, but right now my priorities are my babies.

This semester I had already completely finished my Medical Terminology class, except for 2 discussions and the final, which didn't open until a later date. Last night I found out from the school that the teacher is going to open the discussions and final for me early so that I can complete this class and not have to start it all over next fall.

This is just another example of God's provision.

Guys, God is good. Even when I can't see through this storm, God is protecting my family and guiding us through it.

Philippians 4:19

Jehovah Jireh - my Provider.
He cares for me, He loves me, He provides for me.
I will sing of the goodness of God.

Thank you

Man, where do I even start?

Thank you does not even come close to expressing my gratitude to my friends, family, church family and even complete strangers who have loved my family so well during this past week. I truly cannot find sufficient words to express my thanks.

I know you all loved Jacobs too, and this past week has been such a beautiful expression of that.

We have received the most beautiful prayers, hugs, stunning floral arrangements, incredible meals, financial blessings, and gift cards to restaurants and grocery stores to make sure we don't have to worry about meals during this time.

Our family is walking a road that we never in a million years imagined we would be walking. I find extreme comfort knowing that we are not walking it alone. I am not alone.

The provision that God has shown me through you is incredible. You have been His hands and feet and I want to acknowledge that.

Again, from the absolute bottom of my heart, thank you. My family loves you and I love you.

I like to move it, move it

As much as I want to lay on the couch today, I’m getting my butt to the gym.
I need to move my body.

1 Chronicles 16:34

❤️❤️

Psalms 23:4

He is close beside me. He protects me. He comforts me.

Picking up his things from work

Today I picked up his stuff from work. I love that he had this sitting on his desk. ❤️❤️

Dear Jacobs,
Thanks for being my husband.
If I had a different husband, I would punch him in the face and go find you.
Love, Rachel

There will never be another Jacobs. I beyond grateful to have had the best husband ever. I am a blessed woman.

Sometimes there are no words

Moe's!!!

I haven’t been able to eat solid food since I lost Jacobs. I’ve been coasting on Starbucks Nitro and protein shakes. Something happened tonight and I got hungry for beans and rice from Moe’s. This really hits the spot.

After the Service

Thank you everyone who came tonight to help me honor Steve; I am beyond blessed by friends, church family and family. Tonight was amazing and it was exactly what Steve would have wanted.

I love you all. I truly mean that. 💗

The Amazing Meal Train

I am overwhelmed with the love that has been poured out to my family. I really don’t know what my needs are right now, but honestly, this meal train would be helpful. Thank you for all who have asked to be a part of it and are blessing our family.

https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/n54vko

Steve's Obituary

My sweet husband.

https://www.williamsfh.com/obituaries/Steven-Jacobs-6/

Thank You

Thank you all for the texts and messages. I’ve read every one of them and appreciate every one of them. Responding to each one has been difficult, but know that I’ve been reading them all.

Right now I don’t know of anything that we need, but I know I will need you all once this whirlwind settles down.

I love you.

I Lost Him.

Last night I lost my best friend to a heart attack. My Steve is gone. My world is gone. Please pray for our family.